Jack and Jill

 My internship had just finished and I am now jobless, my buddy is still on his summer break and it so happens that Flux Pavilion and Doctor P will play a show in Montreal before they spin at the World Electronic Music Festival (WEMF) the day after which we couldn’t go because of budget issues. The plan was to go to Montreal, eat at Schwartz, party it out with Flux Pavilion and Doctor P, stay the night, grab some o j at Orang Julep and head home. We are staying at L’Hotel St. Denis from a hook up due to previous endeavors and fortuitously the venue (Telus Theatre) is 2 buildings away on the same street. Tickets have been purchased and the night prior to departure I went to T&T to grab some munchies: 2 Viet buns and some gummy candy. We are now ready for the 5hr trip.

 My buddy and I were the remaining crew from Eursh that was still in the country, with one being in Florida and the other in Sri Lanka we were on our way to Montreal. We found a GPS and set the language to British dialect and listened to the Knife Party Ibzia essential mix tape over and over again until a red Mustang caught our attention. The red stang had been rolling with us for quite some time now and a system was soon developed where we would take turns speeding and tailing each other to gain km (O.P.P don’t usually hunt cars that are in groups) but not too long after, my buddy informs me that an O.P.P cruiser is behind us and its’ lights began to flash. We were fucked but luckily a pit stop was approaching and my buddy tells me to pull in and fortunately the cruiser didn’t follow but pursued the red stang instead, he was our unsung hero. We pulled into the pit stop for a quick piss and refilled on gas, had a smoke and  rant about how lucky we were and continued our journey.

 After continuous day dreaming and zoning we’ve finally arrived. The hotel was our first destination, after checking in with a very flamboyant clerk, we parked in the underground around the side and couldn’t resist planking at every opportunity we could find. There was an air vent sitting on a platform chained to the ceiling and oh boy what an opportunity it would be I thought, so I jumped on, planked and took a photo before my buddy told me to stop and don’t move because a fan was situated on top of my head. How clumsy of me to not of notice, the trip could’ve ended there for us but it didn’t. As we entered the elevator we couldn’t help but notice the button that states “SS” (short form for underground  in French) and began to giggle all the way to our floor. Opening the door to our base we were hoping for 2 king size beds and a Jacuzzi but instead there was 1 king size bed and a bathroom, all we could really ask for considering it was free. Jumping on the bed and unpacking we are now starving since the 2 viet buns only stalled our stomachs temporarily, so we decided to go for a walk along St.Catherines and find Schwartz but before any of that took place, we packed a bowl and to our discovery a huge spider had made its’ web outside our window. It was unfortunate and perhaps rather rude of us to blow the smoke into its’ face but that was the only window in the room, we named it Charles.

 After munching at Scwartz it was clear to us that this was a boost, I ate at the take out section before and it was my first time sitting in the diner and as foolish as I was to think it might be orgasmic this time, it wasn’t, just some smoked meat in a sandwich same as the last time but don’t get me wrong it was sumptuous. As we left the diner we continued walking around to a very beautiful day in Montreal and a large section of St.Catherines was closed off for pedestrians only and we noticed all the vibrant colours which decorated the entire street that consisted of purple and pink. There was also a huge ratio of dudes to girls. As we continued walking more and more, guys in tights began giving us odd looks with smirks. We also came across a bar where the patio was packed with dudes, shoulder to shoulder literally. It was the 2011 Pride Weekend hosted by Montreal where gays, lesbians, transvestites and other bizarre gems came together to party it out and we were right in the middle of it. Everything made sense to us now, the flamboyant hotel clerk who gave us a noticeable grin, the pink and purple decorations, the magazines that was being distributed around the city with two half naked men hugging each other, and all the men staring at us as if we were popsicle sticks on a hot summer day, which it was. The funny thing is we were sharing a bed in the hotel, but none of that mattered because by night we party with the Brits.

 The line was building up and we could hear cheers and screams amongst the crowd, we were in no hurry since the venue was 20 steps from our hotel. I don’t recall on how much marijuana was consumed before the show but we began searching our room as if we were solving a mystery in a crime scene. After another session with Charles we headed downstairs and the line began outside the hotel doors. I can’t remember if we popped the pill in our room or in the line but nonetheless it was in our system now and we are about to go in. Some chick was spinning the opening act and she was mad decent, throwing on some electro and finishing off with some old school Biggie tunes. The crowd was hyped and ready for some dub-step. I had no idea where my boy was but the mash pit had consumed us both by now as Flux Pavilion began spinning his show. I must say Montreal surely knows how to MASH PIT, I was having trouble holding it down at first from all the intensive pushing and shoveling but you get use to it and it almost becomes second nature. The rest of the night was spent battling one another to dub-step. I was upstairs on the balcony at this point with some space to breath while Doctor P took over the table. I spent the rest of night there enjoying some “Sweat Shop” and “Tetris” along with their roots: drum and bass.

 It was probably around 3am when the venue shut off the sounds and kicked everyone out. I was on my way back to the room while my buddy was chit chatting away with Doctor P and Flux Pavilion. I entered the lobby receiving a smile from the same clerk as I approached the elevator doors. The couple inside gave me a stare and asked if I came from the show, I said yes, their reply was the same, very nice people. I asked if they would like to chill in our room for a bit before exiting the elevator which they agreed to after changing their clothes. It was very quiet in the room and I am still fucked, Charles had disappeared and I changed into something that was dry. I probably spent the next 30 minutes or so staring at the ceiling until I heard a knock, I thought it was my boy but it was the couple from the elevator and they brought some friends. “Jack and Jill” was how they introduce themselves to me, I couldn’t remember the other 2 girls and guys name. They were from Vermont, U.S and had travelled up to Montreal for the show and are driving back the next day as Jack was scheduled to work. My boy came back bedazzled to who these strangers were; he introduced himself along with Charles the spider. There was no way any of us was sleeping any time soon, so being polite Canadians we rolled up a splif and invited our American friends out for a walk. We didn’t walk too far since both parties were visitors and besides everyone was still sketching,  so we went to Mach’s and bought a pack of cigarettes and chilled outside a church for a little bit before parting ways.

 The sun had risen and we didn’t sleep at all because it was impossible to. The television was on the whole night set to some Christian fellowship channel and the trucks cleaning the streets sounded like a 747 landing on the roof of the hotel every 30 min. We packed our bags and were ready to go home, Charles was gone from his web but we said our farewells. The ride to Orang Julep just outside the city was peaceful; we were both in nostalgia or tired as fuck. The Julep was mesmerizing and not a single drop was wasted, time to go home, Knife Party essentials mix.

 Flux Pavilion and Doctor P never made it to WEMF because they were stuck in traffic due to the Pride Parade.  

By Calvin Tong

The hotel (blue sign) and venue (purple screen)